You Betcha I'm a Proud Army Mom

Ramblings of an Army mom and probably some rants about the world at large. These are my ramblings and rants and no one else's. Just so you know...

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Location: California, United States

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Sleep Or the Lack Of It...

It's 5 am and I've been awake for 2 hours. I think my internal clock is having a nervous breakdown. I'm not one of those fortunate people (like my DH) who can stay in bed if I wake up. Oh no! The Manic Hamster in my brain goes "Ah ha! she's awake!", jumps on his squeaky wheel and off he goes. If I lay there and let Manic Hamster do his thing, all sorts of thoughts and weirdness pop up. Not usually happy thoughts either. No, no - more of the worrying variety. Doom and Gloom! Death and Destruction and Taxes!! I can spiral down so fast it can take my breath away. So I've learned to ignore Manic Hamster and get up and do something productive, like drink alot of coffee, read the Milblogs and listen to the sea lions talk to each other.
I used to be a night person, not getting to bed before 1 am. (Then I had a child and all that changed!) I love night - it's much softer and gentler than the harsh brightness of day with all it's intense "doing" out there. It's quiet and no one is asking me questions. The phone isn't ringing and the world isn't yakking. I can think or not.
So, it seems as if we've made some sort of compromise, my internal clock and I. I go to bed early and get up in the middle of the night. The only drawback to this is I need a nap halfway through the day. I am not a fan of naps - never have been. In fact I think sleep is a waste of my time. I could get so much more accomplished if I didn't have to sleep! 7 hours in a day - gone! And gone where? Who knows? And I can't get it back.
So, being this way about sleep, I of course, develop a condition (well, two actually - Fibromyalgia and Myofascial Pain Syndrome) that includes fatigue as one of its major symptoms. Fatigue for no good reason other than it's part & parcel of this whole thing. I mean if I'm going to be tired, I want to have done something to warrant it.
Well, this is turning into a sleep rant, isn't it. The reason being is that I'm in the middle of a flare up and haven't gotten done half of what I wanted to get accomplished before D~ gets home next week. And I've had to take several of those dreaded naps! I can deal with the pain but the fatigue and lack of energy just frustrates the hell out of me. Especially at this time of year.
Okay, pity party rant is over.

Here are some good sites on these conditions, if you think you may be a member of the club. Doctors have a hard time diagnosing these conditions but you'll find lots of good info here:

Fibromyalgia Basics

Fibromyalgia (FMS) andChronic Myofascial Pain (CMP)with Devin Starlanyl

Just FYI...